She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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