Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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