is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
