i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
