Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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