You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
