Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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