the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
