He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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