I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
