well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
