I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
