Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
