im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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