Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
