'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
vagina is talking i cant
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
