i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
