no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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