Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
