I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
