I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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