Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
