the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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