And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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