I just made out with a guy for $7.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When are your genitals available?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
