Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
