I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
