how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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