Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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