you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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