No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
