yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
