There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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