Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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