just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
