Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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