so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
