ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
