I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
