There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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