"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
