I'm going to jail i love you
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
