you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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