Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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