Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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