so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize