I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Are we still banned from the library?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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