He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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