so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
