Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
