carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
did i just pee glitter
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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