those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
