I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your penis caused this!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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