"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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