I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
