i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
