i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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