There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've blown a few things in my day
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize