playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
